Interesting Recruiter E-mails

I sometimes get e-mails from job recruiters. Since I am currently employed in a decent position I haven’t paid too much attention to them. Although I know that I should continue to be open to new opportunities, sometimes I can’t help but wonder when I receive some of them.

Here are excerpts from some of the more “interesting” ones that have shown up in my inbox (and sometimes my spam folder). I have attempted to reproduce most of the formatting.

E-mail 1: That’s a Bold (and Underlined and Highlighted) Move

Required SQL/PowerBI Developer for the role given below :

Title : Full Stack Software Engineer
Location : ONSITE :: 4 days a week, no negotiations (Santa Monica, CA)
Duration : Longterm contract with extensions (C2C/W2)
Client : [redacted]

Job Description:

• MUST HAVE SKILLS HIGHLIGHTED IN YELLOW
• REACT is a huge must
• They can have EITHER Node or Java – both is a plus though
• Must have AWS
• Must have Dynamo

MUST HAVES:

• 8+ years of Full Stack Software Engineering experience
• Solid understanding of object-oriented design principles and can express that understanding in code
• Strong JavaScript, React/Angular, Typescript on front end
• Strong with Java and Node on backend (one or the other is ok)
• AWS Lambda experience
• NoSQL Database experience – DynamoDB
• Understanding of agile, lean, and DevOps principles; testing and CI/CD

Oh boy, where do I begin? First of all, it’s an on-site position all the way in Santa Monica, and while that’s not an impossible commute, it’s something I’d rather avoid if I can help it. (Although it does say “4 days a week”… Does that mean I’ll only be on site for four days a week or that it’s actually a four-day workweek?)

But the thing that really stands out to me are the job requirements, and it’s not just the formatting. I know a lot of requirements in job listings are more like guidelines, but this listing makes a pretty big deal out of the “must-haves.” It’s clear that they didn’t bother to check my qualifications, because I have absolutely no experience with AWS Lambda or DynamoDB, and I definitely don’t have eight years of experience here.

E-mail 2: Where Am I Again?

What You Need for this Position

***Ability to work come onsite to our office every Tuesday in San Diego, CA**

5+ years of experience with:

• C++ development
• Linux: OpenEmbedded, Yocto Project, etc.
• Technical architecture
• Team leadership

Desired:

• IP Networking: VLANs, UDP and Multicast, etc.
• Digital Video: MPEG Transport Stream, DVB, ATSC, etc.

Look, I love making the drive down to San Diego on a weekend, but that’s a far cry from a commute. Even if it’s only one day a week, Google Maps says it’s about three hours each way during rush hour. But setting that aside, I don’t have all that much professional C++ experience, and the experience I do have is in desktop applications, not embedded systems.

E-mail 3: Mile-High Experience Is Required

Title: C++ Fullstack Developer

Location: Denver CO

Terms: Contract

Job Details:

• More than 10 years of experience in software or product development and maintenance of Winforms applications
• Experience in C++ with exposure to C#
• Be the front end POC for the client team and take hands on training on tasks to be handed over to the offshore team
• Co-ordinate with offshore team and technically help/groom the team
• Excellent coordination and communication skills
• Identify project level risks early in the life cycle, raise issues proactively & provide accurate technical status reports
• Familiarity with DBMS technology, including MySQL, MongoDB and SQLite

Did they bother to check my experience level? I know that the required length of experience is approximate, but 10 years is a bit of a stretch for me, don’t you think? Also, there wasn’t any salary information…doesn’t Colorado have a pay transparency law?