Happy New Year

Ten years ago today, I was helping my parents clean out the garage of our new house.

Just the week before, we had packed all our things and moved in. I was barely a few months into my freshman year of high school, and already I had to tell everyone I was leaving. I always said I would visit, but I never have.

Looking back, I realize that there are so many people I’ve met over the last ten years that I’ve simply left behind. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve never called you or messaged you or come back to visit like I said I would. I know this is something I’ve had a problem with for most of my life and I really hope I can do better here in the year ahead. To the few people who have managed to stick with me, thank you.

This past decade has meant enormous change in my life. I went through the rest of high school plus all four and half years of college, and along the way I’ve seen so many new things that that kid who just moved to a new town couldn’t have even imagined.

If there’s only one lesson these past ten years have taught me, it’s this: Life is complicated and always changing.

Since I was about nine years old I wanted to be a computer programmer. I’m grateful that my dream has come true, but back then I knew next to nothing about how actual people made actual programs for a living. In fact, I knew next to nothing about a lot of things. But the younger me thought he had it all figured out. But he was wrong.

I didn’t have everything figured out. I still don’t. And that’s the point: Life is too complicated and changes too fast for me to figure it all out. The best I can do is look at my decisions and think about whether I did my best. And learn more, about the world and about myself, so I can do better. And this has to be an ongoing process, because remember, life is always changing. This is what it takes to live a good life. I’m not perfect at this, and that’s okay. I can learn from my mistakes.

Happy New Year, everyone. Here’s to a better decade ahead.

(We’re still working on our house, by the way. It’s a real fixer-upper.)